Excuses excuses excuses!!
Everyone amongst us has a lazy, deceitful and reckless side. And no matter how hard the Mr. Conscientious in us tries to hush it up, it remains a fruitless endeavor. The result: introduce a sticky situation and we all end up succumbing to the pleasure of cooking up a scrumptious excuse to bluff up those idiots that stride by our lives all the time.
But don’t worry, we’re not here to reprimand you! On the other hand we are here to celebrate the bliss of making lame excuses.
I conjured up some excuses of my own, made others inspired by ones found on the internet and prepared a list. Delight yourselves by reading them and feel free to misuse them as your own! Here it goes:
- “I couldn’t come to work yesterday because it was my daughter’s eleventh birthday. She was undergoing fits of depression because she didn’t receive the letter from Hogwarts.”
- Mom: Why isn’t your room clean yet?
Son: Mom I have responsibilities! Who’s going to like all these pages on Facebook?
- Teacher: Your homework is not complete. Why is that?
Student: My younger brother is lagging behind at school. In this situation, wouldn’t he begin berating himself and perform even poorer? I mean, who wants to live with a goody two shoes for a sibling?
- Boss: Do you have a valid reason for being absent form work yesterday?
Employee: Well you see…I spent the entire day listening to Willow Smith. And what can I say, she’s just so unbearably inspiring that in spite of myself I began whipping my hair back and forth. Then all of a sudden I felt a mysterious force tugging at my luscious locks. It was stuck in the fan! Anyways I did manage to pull it out but my poor hair looked so woebegone and disheveled that I couldn’t bear the sight at all. So tears began to rain down my eyes throughout the night, just like a damsel in distress. By the morning I had the ugliest puffed up eyes ever, so I had to sleep the unsightliness off and couldn’t come waste my time here. I do need my beauty sleep, now don’t I?
- “Sir, I couldn’t complete my essay because the minute I started writing the realization dawned upon me that I wouldn’t after all be able to write anything worthy of submission. What’s the point of doing the essay at all, eh?
- Wife: You forgot to wish me on my golden jubilee and expect to be not mad about that?
Husband: I did it for you honey! I thought to myself : “Aren’t those wrinkles and aching joints enough to remind her about her departing youth. I must be a sensitive husband.”
- I wasn’t at work yesterday because my computer has a virus, and my computer means a great deal more to me than this job.
Ok, so that was quite ostentatiously lame, wasn’t it? This place is a treasure chest filled with more. That is, if you like that sort of thing…sometimes. =P =P